Random pennings

Sitting in my lair

Wondering why I am here

I close my windows to the world

Feeling the breath inside

No clue as to when is the last

And when it is

I want to see you my soul

Break free from the earthy being

Light as a feather

Declaimed

From the flesh and bones

I want to see you my soul

Mix into nothingness

Opening my windows to the world

I am safe in my lair

Do I want to step out

I don’t know

I want to see you my soul

Bathe in the rain of heaven

I want to see you my soul

Take off into the soft clouds

Purple green and red

Colour the darkness

A miniscule bubble I am

Throbbing till it bursts

Let it have all the colours

Let it grow encompassing all it can

Bouncing with life

Let me not burst

Till it’s time

To go back from where I came

To mingle and trickle down

And become another bubble again.

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WOW… World Of Women

A strange connection emerges on Women’s day when we send messages and quotes to all women in the contact list, Facebook contacts, WhatsApp contacts… This phenomenon may be because as a woman worldwide we tread on the same path, similar lifestyle, identical problems… Yet do we understand and relate to all the women in this world… Or at least to all the women we know… Or yet still to all the women we are close to….or to go one step further to the women who works at home for us…who have to work hard to make both ends meet…
Do we as women realise and put ourselves in the other woman’s shoes and try to understand and cooperate with that section of women who have to slog day in and day out , who come to work in our homes no matter what is going on in their lives, help us with our home chores, making our day to day life smooth.

The least we could do is to talk to them, find out what is going on in their lives, enquire about their health and that of their family, about the kids education… And so many more ways….
It’s when on this level when we communicate woman to woman, the celebration of women’s day becomes more meaningful…

Warrior

This is Alex…. We met him by chance in a guest house where we stayed about a fortnight ago. He is affected with a neurological illness that obstructs the proper movement of his hind legs… Yet the energy and high spirit oozing from him was contagious… He was not having a permanent home but was taken care by a wonderful team called SPARK. Just recently he has got a home and has been adopted…

I am greatly touched by this wonderful dog and he inspired me to write this….

He is a fighter, a brave heart
He will not be dettered nor fall apart
By anything that comes his way
He is blessed with tremendous will
To see the light of the day
He is a warrior
To take everything in his stride
Do not under estimate his courage
For that is his pride
He is strong and can defy
All troubles with his might
And soar high in the sky
Alex… Come on and embrace life
You are a blessed soul
Bringing joy to everyone around you
Shower on us humans
Your love which is the only thing that is true…

Inflection

Abandoned and ravaged
Spirits and energies speak tales
Long shadows cast grief
Broken walls enumerate rage
Inflection of a moment
Now you are here
Soon to become past
Carrying the mysteries
With the air that you inhale
What lain behind
And what lays ahead
Footprint for eons
On the mud, on barren land
Bricks and sand figurate
Stories of unfulfilled hope
Breath of faceless forms
Haunt the air
Now I am here
Inflection of a moment
Ashes I become
Abandoned and ravaged
Into the dark murky space

Memories

Staring blank at the screen
Emotions as white as I see
Deeper I plunge into the abyss
Of the memories
A disquieting charade
Placid soul I hate to disturb
For ripples of anguish may be unearthed
Ploughed into the deep soil of my soul
Are seeds hidden which I would not allow to germinate
Intangible as is the soul…… so are the memories

Waiting

He frantically paced up and down from the hall to the bedroom clutching his chest. He had just come home from the market. He was sweating and in obvious pain but in denial. He hated the doctors and hospitals because of the money they fleece. He kept pacifying himself and her that it was indigestion. She was nervous. She was all of sixteen and the maturity level at that tender age is not anything to boast about. She went to the neighbour’s house to make a call to the doctor on the big black phone which is now extinct. The doctor told her to bring him to the nursing home immediately. The neighbour uncle was kind enough to get an auto from the street corner. She accompanied him and made him sit next to her in the auto as they proceeded towards the nursing home. It seemed ages to reach there though it was only fifteen minutes away.

As they reached, she stepped out to get a stretcher and as she kept her foot down she saw him collapse and fall sideways and his head hit the seat of the three wheeler. A part of her died….. She hurried fast into the reception area asking for a stretcher. There was no one to help her as she shouted and yelled in disgust. Finally she rushed into the corridor and found a stretcher pushed against the wall. She wheeled it out with urgency near the entrance and somehow managed to put him on it with the help of her neighbour uncle.
The emergency doctor came rushing out and placed a stethoscope on his chest right outside on the portico of the hospital and declared that it was a massive heart attack and there was little they could do and it was all going to be over. Another part of her died.
She begged the doctor to try something and to save him from plunging. The doctor wheeled him into the emergency room. The room was filled with photos of life size Gods. She prayed frantically to all of them, bearing not to leave sight of even one of them. She stood at the corner and watched the dull lifeless body of Her Father on the stretcher. The doctor and nurses were hurrying and scurrying about to get the defibrillator into action.
On the count of one two three… They placed the defibrillator on his chest. Her father flew up some inches from the stretcher and came down with a thud. She shuddered. They repeated this a couple of times. She stood there all alone watching as if she was floating in a dream. As her eyes filled with tears, her whole life with him whizzed past.
They managed to bring him back into this mad world. A part of her came alive. He was shifted to the ICU. She went home to collect some of her belongings and money and returned to the hospital. That afternoon sunk into a melancholic evening with grief spread all around.
Evening faded into the night, as she stayed out in the corridor by spreading a mat on the floor. She was tired and drained yet she evaded sleep since it was a crucial night. The doctors had said that it will take 24 hours for him to come out of the danger that he had sunk into.
Through the night he kept shouting from the ICU. Not a second did he stop as he must have been feeling helpless and lonely. To this day, when she opens the memory book onto that chapter the sound of his voice echoes in her mind space.
Dawn tore through the darkness of the night and brought a new day. She didn’t realise when she had dozed off. The routine morning sounds of the hospital woke her up. Did she have an awful dream and she hoped against hope that it was only a dream. But reality hit her hard when she found herself waking up in the corridor of the hospital outside the ICU.
As a short statured and frail man her father was a human of few words and a strict disciplinarian. She was scared of him right from childhood. She has few memories of playing badminton with him and fewer memories of him smiling, laughing, hugging or showering love and warmth. Having said that he had a heart brimming with love but chose not to reveal. His way of loving his only daughter was unique and strange. He took her around the town to shops, bakeries where she would eye at the colourful and delicious pastries and cakes. The smell of fresh baked bread evokes strong memories of him even today. He helped her a lot with her studies. He had daily portion of math exercises written for her to solve which she dreaded, though it was only due to his dedication that she passed in flying colours in her board exams.
Years passed through and she grew up to be a teenager. During this tender age since there was no right guidance and love at home, she sort of drifted away from her father. She became a rebel. It hurt her father deeply and saddened him. Although he did not explicitly show it they both were pushed to the boundaries, space grew wider between them, they became so far apart that they could not hear each other.
And so it happened. After 13 days of fighting and persistence in the ICU her Father, her Dad let go to be dvelved deep into the slumber of death. He looked so small as he was sinking. She has to yet overcome the gravity of that day… Now after 30 years she sits back at times and wonders if ever did such a person walk on this planet about half a century ago. It seems like a story read somewhere or a movie seen long ago. It is hard to believe that she had a father who was her guiding light in his own queer way. She is sad that she could not bridge the boundaries that she had drawn between him and her. She doesn’t know how or when she will be able to do that…..
Just waiting….

Love

Mindless faces, faceless minds
How many we come across in our life
Mindful faces stand apart
Forceful and strong
I glanced upon you
At the helm of my youth
Your face grasped me
Your vibes engulfed me
Not a word to whisper
Not a breath to sigh
Just a flutter of the eye
I captured you in my smile
And could see your heart for a while
Brimming with love for me
You were a stranger yet destined to be
The Monarch of my life
Days, months, years have passed
Reminiscing that transient sunrise
Immanent in our lives now
In gratitude to my fate and yours
To the sun and stars above
Which brought us together
For which I am indebted forever…..😍🍁